| So many times I have started to write a new entry, but I have been intimidated... I mean, if it has been months and months, whatever I write should be something substantial and relevant to what has been going on. Or something like that. Being home has been good... and really refreshing
nights like tonight I really miss my studio
nights like tonight
I would arrive late
after everyone had left
and turn out all of the lights
except for a few spotlights on my paintings
turn on some music
good music
and sit on the other side of the room
and just quiet my head and my heart
sometimes I would stay there for an hour or two
and then maybe paint
or read
or look at my paintings more closely
and then maybe paint
or write
and then maybe paint
Jim would always say that all artists are searching (ultimately for God). Looking back now, I realize that sometimes that is what I was doing. Down in my studio, I was able to get away from everything... more importantly I was able to quiet my head, quiet my heart and quiet all of the distractions that kept me from focusing.
As much as I was frustrated with ceramics (when I finally took the class) I really learned that before you can really make anything, you have to center the piece of clay on the wheel. Without centering the clay, you are able to work for a little while, but eventually the entire piece will fall apart. I've been thinking about that a lot lately.
All of that being said, things are good. For me at least, transition is always a time that breeds intense times of thinking and evaluation of what I am doing with my time, abilities and desires. Being in a different environment has brought new distractions and seemingly endless to do lists... however right now I really believe that I am just learning to listen, and seeking to find that place where I can escape the distractions and focus.
During times like this, sometimes I feel really selfish... and then I am reminded of the woman in the Bible who gave her two mites. God simply asks for what we have, not what we don't have. He also wants us to give from our hearts. Even if it's not extravagant, God only asks for what we have... for what we are able to give. And He is so faithful.
So faithful.
So that's what's going on...
That and these:
It's definitely a start...
|
| |
| And four months later...
After talking to a friend tonight over coffee, I (we) realized that I have great big dreams... but no plans as of the moment. I'm coming to terms with what that really means, which is essentially a huge step of faith and weighing good against better.
I love waking up to a thunderstorm. Thunderstorms are perfect sleeping/napping weather.
|
| |
| So I pretty much have the best friends EVER.
Simply amazing. I am very lucky... and very thankful 
|
| |
|
That I would be good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got a thumbs-down
That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine
Even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good
If I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great
If I was no longer queen
That I would be grand
If I was not all-knowing
That I would be loved
Even when I'm not myself
That I would be good
Even when I'm overwhelmed
That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clingy
That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
With or without you
(kiss the clock)
|
| |
| Merry Christmas
|
| |
